(no subject)

well. i made a declaration last friday that i would re-enter the world of blogging, and dammit i'm gonna stick to it. well, at least until i run outta things to say. yes that's fair.

i kinda feel depressed. don't you just hate it when you get into one of those moods where you just can't help but contemplate. i'd much rather stuff my mind with useless television, but i'm just not in the mood for that...blasphemy, i know. i was thinking about all the things that have happened in the past. how it seems so far away. i mean, just think about what you were doing approximately a year ago. how you felt. who you were with. whether you were happy.

a year ago i was with robbie. i was semi-happy. it was up and down. incredibly happy when i was with him. not so much when i wasn't. and now? i don't even know what country the bugger is in. who knows if i'll ever speak to him again, let alone see him again.

and now i feel like i'm going through the same thing with him. i know it's not the same situation, but the end result is the same. essentially, they don't want to be with me, so why can't i accept that? and the way it's making me feel is the same. i'm questioning what is wrong with me, when in fact, deep down, i know that it's not me. OR IS IT?!?!? lol. i just can't take myself seriously.

anywho, i've gone back to day shift at work. so i feel much more normal. working the graveyard shift can really stuff around with your body clock. i'm also going to melbourne on thursday morning. a week of gambling and shopping awaits. what a healthy-non-addictive combination.